Review: “Just Married”

An awkward and woefully unfunny comedy, “Just Married” tries to grab laughs mostly out of people hitting each other in the nose more than anything else. The best comedies are the simple ones, and so ‘Married’ basically takes an Out-of-Towners / National Lampoon’s European Vacation style premise with the honeymoon from hell.

However, it aims for a younger audience by making the newlyweds in their mid-20s – an age when marriage is uncommon and almost frowned upon in modern society which this movie regularly points out. That’s the main problem here, everything is too blatant – the physical gags are awkwardly staged although one or two do manage a laugh, surprisingly ALL attempts at humour with dialogue and mismatched culture fail miserably.

Ashton Kutchner never really gets off a laugh – in fact spends most of his time acting like a dim-witted and petulant child whose over the top anger fits are annoying and feel shockingly dated like something out of a 50’s or 60’s comedy (in reality he’d be arrested for abuse on many an occasion). Murphy comes out of it better with at least more believable smarts about the ridiculous situations they end up in, but even she can’t save the material.

Supporting cast from Christian Kane to Veronica Cartwright are utterly wasted whilst the various actors who play the film’s Europeans I hope got well paid as more than anything else this film pretty much embarassed the entire continent. The only saving graces are the odd picturesque shots of the Alps and Venice. The score is light and suitable, but can’t hide the way too many quiet spots which plague the entire production.

Subplots including Murphy’s snooty family are almost painfully cliched. Kutchner himself has appeared in better fare than this – for all its faults, “Dude, Where’s My Car” for example had at least several memorable gags which even to this day I quote (eg. “And Then…”). Not a single gag in this is even remotely up to that level, whilst the romance attempts would be more believable between two cold fish than these two. The first film of the year turns out also to likely be one of the worst.