Spider-Man To Tackle ‘The VPL’

If there’s one acronym you never forget upon hearing it’s V.P.L., or to those unfamiliar ‘Visible Penis Line’. Anyone who goes commando or likes wearing super tight pants, you’ll know what it is. It’s also the basis for an amusing story or two that emerges seemingly every single time someone new slips into form fitting spandex to play a superhero.

From Ioan Gruffudd’s hornblower compressed to action figure proportions for “Fantastic Four” to Brandon Routh’s groin supposedly getting a digital facelift to stop the little kiddies from being scared by Superman’s third leg – it’s all a bit of amusing fluff about a problem that was solved years ago with a fitted codpiece and special padding.

Now it’s Spider-Man’s turn as Showbiz Spy reports that new webslinger Andrew Garfield has been through numerous costume fittings for the project, most notably the new suit which is “a very high-tech design”.

An insider says “One whole day was devoted to make sure there was nothing inappropriate showing in the crotch area of the suit. Andrew should be flattered that it took so long to get that part right.”

Garfield himself meanwhile has hit back at online talk that the actor is too skinny to play Peter Parker, saying “I have had a lot of good wishes and kind words and a fair bit of criticism too. I heard some people are saying I’m lacking the muscles to be Spider-Man. But the thing Spidey is as skinny and me. He’s not Arnold Schwarzenegger.”