Review: “Texas Rangers”

After months of delays, the James Van Der Beek western finally hits theatres though one wonders why they even bothered with anything more than the bottom of a bin.

A quite astonishing cast line-up phone in amongst their career low performances in this utterly soggy western which makes “American Outlaws” look enjoyable and “Young Guns” outright genius. This attempt to tell the story of how law enforcement was rebuilt in the Old West after the Civil War is best described as a “The WB TV movie” version of history – indeed half the stars seem to work for that network in one way or another.

Van Der Beek, Raymond, Cooke, etc. all deliver dialogue so badly one wonders why (as they’ve all displayed better talent before). McDermott, Patrick and Molina are real letdowns which is a quite shocking surprise. Kutcher at least shows some of his ‘ball of energy’ appeal from “That 70’s Show” and Matt Keeslar delivers a nice cameo but that’s it.

The script is woeful with no suspense, character development cliched in the extreme, surprisingly dull shootout action and quickdraw editing to try and beef up the energy whilst keeping the rating at a teen appeal level.

Westerns, like sci-fi, are best when combined with other genres such as dark comedy/action which Sam Raimi understood with the gloriously enjoyable “The Quick and the Dead”. This however is just yet another nail in the coffin for the lacklustre genre. A real yawner.