Review: “Boat Trip”

Dated, offensive and overall more like the dumb humour of a “Porkys” clone than actual laughs like “The Birdcage”, this very much direct-to-video level comedy has great turns by Roselyn Sanchez & Roger Moore in an otherwise dead flick which lacks laughs, wit or any sense of intelligence.

Worse, much like the recent “Bringing Down the House” did with the racism concept, its idea of homosexuality feels like something out of the 1950’s with this gay cruise full of earring toting punks, leather fetishists and drag queens with a realistic gay man nowhere in sight. It feels like the writers have not only never dealt with gay people, but are actually redneck teenagers from another decade – how long has this script been sitting on a desk I wonder.

Cuba Gooding Jr’s career continues on its downspiral into tedium with this – his romance with Roselyn Sanchez onboard is the only real likeable subplot and that’s mostly thanks to Sanchez who herself has both a notable magnetism combined with a likeable no-nonsense character.

Horatio Sanz plays his character with the typical obnoxiousness of a frat house movie character but those guys usually work because we eventually reach a level of sympathy for them – it never happens here despite an awfully scripted red herring of a twist in regards to his yearnings.

The severe homophobia of him though is not as bad as Cuba’s awful attempts to act effeminate in order to pass as gay – even going into ubiquitous drag toward the end in a painful scene. Roger Moore at least has fun and plays it up as an old and rich sugar daddy with an interest in our two new members, whilst the less said about Lin Shaye & Victoria Silvestdt the better (though the latter pulls it off better than I expected).

For a gay-themed film its surprising how ‘straight’ this is – in fact its a comedy seemingly designed for the dumb white straight males of fratboy persuasion. Sure its a gay cruise and there’s the standard tired jokes about phallic shaped ice sculptures and ‘sausage’ references but its all extremely tame with nothing more than the odd extra making out in the background.

It stretches into R-rated material with some gross out oral sex gags or a just unfunny ‘sex on a coconut tree’ bit whilst the only glimpses of nudity are loads of female models in VERY tiny bikinis and Cuba’s ass briefly glimpsed just before the one hint of clever humour in the movie. Its not enough – its a broad comedy designed to have bite but the inherent homophobia is so repelling its very difficult to watch for straight or gay audiences.

The latter will get no enjoyment, and only those with rather backwards views in the former will get any enjoyment out of this – people like that may exist but I sure don’t want to know ’em.