Jesus Likes Having Nice T*ts

Paul Verhoeven, the director of “Showgirls,” “Basic Instinct,” “Total Recall” and “Robocop,” is about to tackle something far more controversial than Sharon Stone pursing her lips.

Deadline reports that Verhoeven and his reps have spend the last six months trying to raise financing for a movie version of “Jesus of Nazareth”, a book outlining a revisionist vision of Christ which Verhoeven co-wrote a while back.

The book’s portrayal rejects the fantastical elements – the miracles, the immaculate conception, and the resurrection. Why? Because Verhoeven feels they undermine the core teachings that have kept Christ relevant for more than two millennia.

Verhoeven says that “If you look at the man, it’s clear you have a person who was completely innovative in the field of ethics. it’s not about miracles, it’s about a new set of ethics, an openness towards the world, which was anathema in a Roman-dominated world. I believe he was crucified because they felt that politically, he was a dangerous person whose following was getting bigger and bigger. Jesus’ ideals are about the utopia of human behaviour.”

The difficulty in getting funding however has been due to his opting for logical, albeit unprovable, theories explaining those aforementioned fantastical elements. In this version, Christ was likely the result of his mother being raped by a Roman soldier. Jesus himself is also depicted as “a radical prophet who performs exorcisms”.