Eat Tongue & Work With Marcus Nispel

Though it’s joked about, the casting couch can be a serious thing. Principals are all fine and good, but when given the opportunity of a short-term job that pays as much as many people earn in a lifetime it’s no surprise that quite a few have done some pretty personally disturbing things to get where they need to.

Of course eating food that’s considered a delicacy in certain countries is hardly fellating an obese studio executive or obsessive director to be the next big screen siren or action superhero, nevertheless screenwriter Sean Hood (“Halloween: Resurrection,,” “Cube 2: Hypercube,” “The Crow: Wicked Prayer”) found himself in an awkward position not too long ago when auditioning to work on the next project of Marcus Nispel whose “Friday the 13th” remake topped this weekend’s box-office.

Here’s an excerpt from his humorous blog posting about this rather unusual meeting:

“I’m sitting in the beachfront Malibu home of infamous German director Marcus Nispel (Friday the 13, The Texas Chainsaw Massacre), hoping to convince him to pick me as a writer on his next horror film, Subterranean. Unlike the remakes he is famous for, Subterranean (aka “Pod”) is based upon his original idea, and Marcus is being very picky about who is going re-write the script.

In the middle of our heated debate about whether or not more exposition could have improved the original “Alien,” Marcus abruptly goes to the kitchen to make sandwiches. When he returns, I realize that if I eat the sandwich I will probably get the job, and if I don’t, I probably will not. The sandwich is made of blood sausage and sliced tongue.

One of the never ending challenges of being a screenwriter is the necessity of collaboration. In the past, my collaborators have asked me to write startlingly ridiculous and insipid things. They have asked me to write about puritan ghosts who haunt freshman dorms. They have asked for nurses to take showers in asylums at midnight. They have concocted “satanic, chollo, midget priests” and “goats with shark teeth.” They have changed my male protagonists into lesbians and my heroines into werewolves. it’s my job to eat the sandwich…”

For the full posting click here.